RSS - PostsTo bring you: Growing Up Cullen, Version 2.0
by Pants and Socks.
me: I’m imagining a family goodwill trip to Africa.
*Jasper lurks in the shade of the Baobob tree*
Socks: While Alice flits around, trying to plan a group birthday party for all the poor kids
me: And Rosalie sits in the airconditioned Land Rover, complaining loudly about how the humidity is wreaking havoc on her hair.
Emmett’s off trying to teach the natives to play football.
S: and they totally don’t get it
me: I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT SOCCER. SOCCER IS A PANSY SPORT.
FOOTBALL IS THE AMERICAN WAY.
S: While Edward is off…sulking
me: Because his sweaters creep the kids out.
S: *jasper’s head pops out from behind the land rover*
Edward writes somber poetry about how unfair life is
while Emmett throws the football at him, repeatedly, because the kids have lost his interest
Edward ignores him for a while, but when all else fails, Emmett starts thinking about the woman in Tijuana and the donkey again and starts him on a rant
me: EMMETT. I AM IN THE ZONE. YOUR CHILDISH ANTICS DO NOT HELP MY WRITINGS. I AM TRYING TO EXPAND THESE CHILDREN’S HORIZONS.
S: WILL YOU NEVER UNDERSTAND ME???
I’M PERFECTING MY ART!!!
(More …)
(Read the inspiration here. Friday’s Bits will be back next week.)
Researching an article I’m writing for work, I came across a Web site with a bunch of links to “teaching songs,” which then reminded me of a particular song we used to sing all the time in fifth grade. No one ever wanted to sing a different song. I’m sure our teacher got plenty tired of it by the end of the year.
Won’t you bring back,
Won’t you bring back
Mrs. Murphy’s chowder?
It was tuneful,
Every spoonful
Made you yodel louder
After dinner Uncle Ben
Used to fill his fountain pen
From a bowl of
Mrs. Murphy’s chowder
There was ice cream, cold cream,
Benzine, gasoline
Soup beans, string beans,
Floating all around
Sponge cake, beef steak,
Mistake, stomach ache
Cream puffs, ear muffs,
Many to be found
Silk hats, door mats,
Bed slats, Democrats
Cow bells, door bells,
Beckon you to dine
Meat balls, fish balls,
Moth balls, cannon balls
Come on in, the chowder’s fine!
Won’t you bring back,
Won’t you bring back
Mrs. Murphy’s chowder
It was tuneful,
Every spoonful
Made you yodel louder
If they had it where you are,
You might find a motor car
In a bowl of
Mrs. Murphy’s chowder
There was ice cream, cold cream,
Benzine, gasoline
Soup beans, string beans,
Floating all around
Sponge cake, beef steak,
Mistake, stomach ache
Cream puffs, ear muffs,
Many to be found
Silk hats, door mats,
Bed slats, Democrats
Cow bells, door bells,
Beckon you to dine
Meat balls, fish balls,
Moth balls, cannon balls
Come on in, the chowder’s fine!
All the boys would snicker at the “fish balls” line.
Filed under: Clothes, Misc. | Tags: Ashley Greene, Clothes, Say No to formal shorts
Oh Ashley.
Alice would so know better than to wear high-waisted, satin formal shorts.
P.S.—You’re tiny. You don’t need to look like a sausage.
Filed under: Friday's Bits, Laughables, Music | Tags: cartoons, Friday's Bits, Star Wars, Twilight
Aww, man. I just got Ashlee(eeee) Simpson’s “Pieces of Me” stuck in my head. Has she had her baby yet? Is it already wearing super tight jeans and sporting emo hair?
The Boyf and I watched Speed Racer last night. Spritle was the best part of the entire thing. That kid is going places. (ETA: How cute is that headshot?!)
Since when is Pottery Barn ridiculously cool? I need this quilt:
(via Geek Central Station.)
The sheets are awesome too … The Boyf would totally let me get away with both a Star Wars kitchen and bedroom, but I think I need to draw my own line on this one. But the quilt … the quilt shall be mine.
I’ve always agreed more with Emmett on vehicle choice (tricked-out Rubicons are to-drool-for), but this (faux?) ad makes me ponder the S60R.
(via Spouses of Edward Cullen Fans.)
I’m confused. They re-released the Nightmare Before Christmas Soundtrack in 2006, with many of the songs being covered by pop-punk-emo-whatever bands … and they’ve done it again?
(Don’t get me wrong, I love covers. And the redux’s of “What’s This?” by Fall Out Boy and “This is Halloween” by Panic at the Disco are really great, I just don’t get why they’re doing it again, and so soon.)
I got a little sidetracked yesterday with Face Your Manga:
(From left to right, top to bottom: Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Edward (with a crooked smile! *Dazzled!*), Bella and Jacob)
Putting the finishing touches on Jacob, I couldn’t stop laughing. Have you seen the poster of Taylor Lautner in the wig? Hilarious.
Then I got to thinking, what about Post-BD Bella … and Renesmee? So:
and of course:
Because I’d still wear my glasses, for decorative purposes.
Have fun making cartoons of yourself with these other links:
Simpsonize Me (FYI: This is a fully-flash site, which takes a while to load properly.)
South Park Character Maker (I despise South Park. I know, I know, it’s intelligent and funny and whatever. I still don’t like it and don’t want it in my house. But, the characters are pretty funny looking.)
These are old, but I ran across them, saved them, and then forgot to share them. Shame on me.
I love Mutts. It’s cute, funny and intelligent. All things I pride myself on being too (ba-dum-cha!). ;)
My other daily comic reads:
I ran across a great article on the lack of superheroines in the movies (in Pop Candy):
When I was a kid, visiting my cousin meant I got to do two things: sleep on the top bunk and page through his epic comic-card collection. I may have learned about dating from Archie Comics’ Betty and Veronica, but the superheroines of Marvel and DC Comics were much more exciting. I coveted Rogue’s kinetically charged boyfriend, Jean Grey’s red mane, and Wonder Woman’s strength, even squeezed down to trading-card size. It was perfect training for a future superhero-movie consumer. I’ve followed my memories of those tiny illustrations to the theater to see the X-Men and Spider-Man franchises, I cheered Stan Lee’s cameos in The Incredible Hulk and Iron Man, and in May, I read everything about Marvel Comics’ announcement that its film-production division would release six new movies by 2011.
But as the biggest superhero summer so far comes to a close, I can’t help but notice that women have been firmly relegated to the sidelines as girlfriends and assistants. Five of the six upcoming Marvel movies feature male leads, and it’s not clear which, if any, superwomen will end up in the only ensemble picture in the lineup, The Avengers. Why is it that a film industry will cast loveably schlubby Seth Rogen as the Green Hornet and will take a serious chance on an Ant-Man movie (both are due to hit theaters in 2010) but can’t get it together to make a Wonder Woman flick? Or any true superheroine movie at all?
More here.
The thought of Seth Rogan as any superhero gives me the heebs. And not in a good way. Maybe, maybe. I could see him as Arthur (from the Tick), but even then I’m not sure.
I hated X-3. Walking out of the theater, I felt like I’d been kicked in the shins repeatedly and told that, no, I could not have that puppy in the window. X-Men could have been an amazing, long-running franchise … And as much as I like Anna Paquin, her Rogue is seriously lacking, in all ways other than the hair.
I’m hoping X-Men Origins: Wolverine brings the franchise back into my good graces.
Filed under: Crafts, Projects, Swaps | Tags: Crafting and Design, Harry Potter
I just finished up another swap over at Craftster, and I wanted to post what I’d made (and recieved) since all packages have been sent out and opened.
This swap’s theme was Back to Hogwarts. To those of you who have to ask “what’s Hogwarts?” I shake my head. And tell thee to get to a bookstore or library or neighbor’s bookshelf or grocery store or hobo’s box. Because all of those places will probably have a copy of the book—at least one of the seven—in question.
I made this(!):
A version of Luna Lovegood’s Dirigible Plum (radish) earrings.
A set of mini-canvases decoupaged with the house and Hogwarts crests, with magnets on the back.
A baby snow dragon, because they’re cute.
A ’shipper Snape/Hermione double sided tote.
The Potter Puppet Pals my partner didn’t already have. From left to right: Harry P., Voldy, Dumbledore and Ron W. (Ron likes being in the shadows. It makes him feel mysterious … more like Harry. ;))
And finally, a personalized Quidditch jacket.
I had a ton of fun working on this swap. I’d never made true stuffies before, so the Puppet Pals were a new experience. My thumb’s still a bit numb because of all the cutting. (I think I may have been holding the scissors wrong.)
In return, I received:
A gorgeously soft Ravenclaw-inspired scarf and a Harry P. and Ginny Potter Puffs tee.
A hook/needle roll that I’ve been needing (from Hermione! She’s such a doll.)
Two little critter friends.
And an adorable Tonks Potter Puff handmade tote.
Good crafting times!
From Urban Dictionary:
Most commonly Twilight, the first textually transmitted disease ever.
HOW TO GET A TTD.
If you had Twilight, and you lent it to your friend, you gave your friend a TTD.
If you told your friend about Twilight and they bought it, you gave your friend a TTD.
If someone recommended Twilight to you, and you bought it (no matter how many months later), you have a TTD.
The only people who do not have TTDs are those who have not read the book yet, or those who saw it in the bookstore themselves and bought it without recommendation.
“Sorry, I lent it to Mike.”
“DAMN IT! You give me a textually transmitted disease and you don’t even give me a treatment?”
Filed under: Crafts, Friday's Bits, Laughables, Misc., Vids | Tags: Friday's Bits, Newsies, Teh Internets, unicorns
Tomorrow is WTR-Day.
Wisdom Teeth Removal.
I am not a happy camper.
___
When I have a child, I will dress them like this on a regular basis:
Because I will be that sort of mom.
Has O RLY? really been around since 2003?
Because I recently have been reminded how AWESOME Newsies is:
(Yes, I have both the soundtrack and the DVD. I can sing along to all the songs … and I know parts of some of the dances.)
The Okapi=not a unicorn. An excerpt:
First of all, how could anyone call the stumpy horn dude a unicorn? For one thing, he’s tan and brown and EVERYONE knows that unicorns are white with rainbows painted on them. Also, the horn is very, very small, like the thing sneezed and blew a cheese doodle into its forehead. Unicorn horns are huge — so huge that you can’t even believe they can hold their heads up, like Charlie Brown or Christina Ricci. In fact, I’m convinced that real unicorns walk around like pageant contestants all day, trying not to topple over while muttering, “Oh shit, oh shit, my neck is totally going to break off, why does my horn have to be so magically huge? Why???” They spend the rest of the day avoiding ad reps from Cialis.
(I love The Park Bench.)
And to finish: A video that ties two of the extremely random things in this post together: I give you Charlie the Unicorn.*
